Empty. Broken. Beautiful.

It’s enough already. It’s enough of being second choice (being last choice?). It’s enough of feeling like I’m not good enough; like what I can offer isn’t good enough. Finally I had someone in my life that made me feel like I was worth something. As soon as I don’t go as far as he wants me to go, it’s Ditchville for me. Fuck this, why do I even try? All I do is get my hopes up. I open the door to my heart and people take that as invitation to fuck with it. Is it too much to ask for someone who will honestly like being with me, holding me and not expecting a reward for it? 
It’s enough already. 

To girls or boys that have ever been raped or sexually assaulted, as much as you think you let it happen, as much as you might try to convince yourself it was your fault, as much as you feel you could’ve stopped it, as much as you feel like it happened to you for a reason, you’re wrong. Sometimes rape and sexual assault isn’t as obvious as you think. It could be someone who attacks you maliciously or it could be someone who lures you in over a period of time and leads you to believe it’s okay. It could’ve been someone you didn’t say ‘no’ to even. When you’re in a situation that you know you’d be unable to get out of, subconsciously you decide to not even fight it. Nothing was your fault. There was nothing you could’ve done to stop it. There was nothing you did to deserve it. 
There is nothing that makes you less of a victim.
As dirty, as ashamed, as broken as you feel, it was NOT your fault.
You lived through something so traumatic, you will live past it.
I don’t know who I’m talking to right now but you’re strong. You were a victim of a terrible circumstance and nothing was your fault. If it’s not today, tomorrow, or in a month, you will eventually get through it. You will live, learn, and break through the way they violated you. Do not give people like that the power to change you, to make you ashamed of yourself.
You’re too good for that.